Robert E. Lee to Mrs. Benjamin Edward Stiles

On my return from the Wichita a few days since, my dear Mrs. Stiles, I found here your kind letter of the 25th June. It gave me many pleasant thoughts, told me so much of those about whom I wished to hear, and enabled me to locate all the members of your family. I hope many of them are with you now, where I too should like to be, particularly your dear Mother & sisters.

I also received a long letter from Custis. He seems to be living in clover, & thinks his only danger is in being killed by kindness. I fear his apprehensions are well founded, and that your Mother & sisters & daughter give themselves too much trouble concerning him. You must beg them not to do so. He has chosen a hard life, which requires the practice of much self denial, & to be contented in which all luxuries must be avoided. I fear he will not be able to get to see his Mother this summer as I had hoped, indeed he seems to have given up all expectation of it. I trust he may be able to get up to see you. It would be, I know, a great pleasure to him, & a great comfort to me, for situated as I am, I can only enjoy pleasure through family & friends.

When will Mrs. Elliott’s home be finished. I think I must wait till all the family get there together. How the children do grow. Another daughter on the verge of womanhood! I hope she is as sweet as her predecessors. Henry to be married too! And you realizing the pleasure of grandchildren. Of the last I know nothing. I know it will require a tussle for any one to get my children from me, & beyond that I do not wish to know.

I suppose Mr. Low will be carrying Mary Stiles to England all the times, & I shall never see her again. I should be willing to go to war with Great Britain, merely to break up the communication. It would have much more weight with me than the Enlistment and Central American questions, which are all plans, & could be settled without difficulty.

My last letters from home were not cheering. My good dame has been sick for a month, & was going to the Sulphur Springs to try the waters. Mary & the little people were to accompany her, and Fitzhugh, who had been obliged to leave Cambridge before the expiration of his term, on account of indisposition (he said) was to be their escort. Anne & Agnes had returned from Staunton on vacation, & would remain with their grandfather. I also heard of the death of my sister Mildred. She died in Paris, after a short illness. Though separated from her for many years, I was little prepared for this sudden & harsh severance, nor can I realize that she, so loved in youth, so dear to me in maturer years, has preceded me in that long journey, on which we are all hurrying. I trust that the good & merciful God, in this early & suddenly snatching her away, but seized the fittest moment to take her to Himself.

I arrived here in time to see the last of a young officer who graduated while I was at West Point. His name was Dick, some of the Member of Congress of that name from Penn. He was considered convalescent & on Monday felt so well, that he sat up & wrote several letters home. Thursday evg he was not so well. Wednesday morning he had symptoms so alarming, that I sent an express to the nearest post (45 miles) for additional medical aid. Thursday evg he died, & so calmly & quietly did he breathe his last, that you could scarce mark the moment. He was conscious of his approaching end, & his mother’s name was frequent on his lips throughout the afternoon. The last words he spoke, as if to soothe the grief he saw around the bed, were, "I am going to a better world." It is sad to see a young soldier die, & heart rending to announce it to his parents. May God support the living; the dead I trust are happy.

I shall not tire you with an account of my late trip. I left here in the fore part of June with 4 companies of Cavalry for the head waters of the Colorado and Brazos rivers, in search of Shanaco, a Comanche chief, whose band had been committing depredations on the settlements about San Antonio. He received notice of your movements from the Indians in our vicinity, scattered his people, & fled to the North. We divided also, in pursuit and thus traversed 1600 miles of the most barren & least inviting country I have ever seen. It forms part of the high salt plains lying below New Mexico. Has but little water, grass or game, no trees, and is as hot as a scorching sun & arid plains can make it. The water is salt, brackish bitter and sweet by turns, stagnant, tepid, at times the mules even refuse it. We caught as many Indians as bears, but the chief offender escaped out of the Dept. beyond which I was prohibited from going. On reaching the Wichiti I halted. It is probable we shall become better acquainted in time. We lost no many, and but few horses, but were not compensated for our labors.

As you promise me such fine times when Mr. Stiles becomes Secy of War I shall be more anxious for it than ever. Do not let it be too long or I shall be too old to be benefitted by it. Unless they give me some position which will enable me to bestow some care upon my family, I fear I shall be obliged to resign. Though fully endorsing the ancient sentiment, dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, a man’s wife and children have some claims upon him.

Present my kind regards to Mr. Stiles & the boys, & much love to your Mother & sisters. I hope your brother Robert is recovering from his attack. Remember me to him and William. Very truly & Affecy

yours

R E Lee